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The Balance of Life

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “On the Edge.”

I try to live with as much balance in my life as possible, but I do find it very difficult. I have noticed that times when I am non-stop – working, studying, learning, socialising, etc – I end up burning out and having a meltdown.

So, in order to keep myself on a calm and collected level, I sleep a lot and try to incorporate as much yoga into my schedule as possible. Also, I like to journal as much as possible and reflect back on my day and my life in general. Having time for deep meaningful thought really refreshes me both physically and emotionally. And, as an introvert, having time to myself where I can relax and be alone is extremely important. If I end up spending too much time in social situations (even ones I enjoy with friends or family) I become extremely exhausted and worn out.

I really have been struggling lately with trying to find the right balance in my life – so that I don’t end up overworking myself and burning out or isolating myself in a corner and becoming depressed. It really is a fine line between the two for me and I need to constantly be on top of myself to make sure I stay in the okay zone. I do know it will be a lifetime struggle and hopefully one day things will make more sense for me.

Life is constantly changing and so are we humans.

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Lavender

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Smell You Later.”

The scent of lavender brings me immediate feelings of peace, inspiration, motivation, and love. It is quite a strong scent and thus is so powerful at healing the mind and body.

I smell lavender and I think of yoga – slow, peaceful, deeply meditative yoga. I think of sitting in a quiet room that is empty, sun pouring in a large window. Wind wafts through the panes and across my skin, and I feel a sense of stillness and relaxation that I can only find on my own. Lavender reminds me that things are okay and I will be okay, that life is beautiful and amazing, and that there’s no point to not feel good and full of love.

I smell lavender and I experience Peace.

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Yoga & Mental Health

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Blogger With a Cause.”

Simple. Mental health and yoga. I dream of a life where I do what feels right to me at that time – yoga whenever and wherever, meditation, reading, contemplating, etc; basically, improving my own mental health. Then going out and spreading that good energy and important message to everyone that surrounds me.

We’re all hurting and we all need to heal, and yet it seems such a low priority in this society for us to focus on our own personal mental health. Yet, the better our mental health and personal wellness, the less war, terrorism, murder, abuse, trauma, on and on. We all know this deep in our souls, but we don’t acknowledge it or do anything about it.

To spend my day as I want, I would make it my mission to spread good mental health and wellness to everyone and everything I come in contact with. I would make it a priority in this society to heal our wounds instead of suppressing and ignoring. I would make it normal to talk about feelings and pain. I would make it acceptable to work on ourselves before working on others.

Even though I have personal responsibilities that may stop me from living the carefree life I dream of living, I am still going to work on this mission of mine. I will never stop working for mental health.

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We All Want A Better World

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Dear Leader.”

Looking through the responses to this prompt confirms my expectations – every person wants something different, and our government will never be able to satisfy everyone.

What do I want from my government? World peace, peace within communities, food for everyone, shelter for everyone, jobs for everyone, available and quality mental and physical health services, no more war or nuclear bombs, no more poisoning our food and water, cheaper and available food, … the list can go on and on.

I want a perfect world but it is not achievable. And, who knows, maybe a perfect world wouldn’t be so perfect either. Maybe we need the balance – positives and negatives.

Every one of us is going to champion a cause that is important to ourselves. Some people may be focused on better healthcare, some on better roads, some on higher wages, etc. My cause would have to be mental health. I find the mental health system in my area to be pretty ineffective, and I definitely think that it is something valid that needs to be worked on and improved in order to help our people. But that’s my priority.

And I guess that’s one thing that a lot of us feel – I don’t feel like my government listens to me or cares at all.

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The Struggle of OCD

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “A Mystery Wrapped in an Enigma.”

Something most people probably don’t know about me is … that I struggle every day with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). I find it terrifying to have to lock up my home on my own and leave as I am constantly convinced that I didn’t lock the door properly or shut it properly (and thus, my cat will be harmed or my boyfriend’s stuff stolen). I have massive anxiety when taking pills (which I have to every day) because I am convinced that I somehow dropped some (and thus, my cat will eat them and die). I have a difficult time driving alone; I am always sure that something toxic is on my hands and will harm me, my cat, or someone else; on and on.

I am fairly open about my struggle with OCD, but I do not talk about the specifics. Very, very few people know how much I compulsively check seemingly insignificant things, obsess over “what if” possibilities, and convince myself that I have done or will do something terrible by accident. When I talk about it, I feel insane, crazy, messed-up, broken…

It’s so difficult for other people to understand when they have never experienced it. They constantly ask “why can’t you just ignore it?” or say “but it’s not true, so why stress about it?”. All I can say is, it’s real to me and my mind does not let me ignore it. Every single thing I do is a stressor, and yet I cannot allow my anxiety to coop me up in my house and isolate myself. I did that for a few months and it only made everything so much worse.

We must fight our anxiety every day and force ourselves to live. It’s the only way.

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My Experiences Created My Passion

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Baggage Check.”

I think my past experiences influence every aspect of my life and I think my experiences have been incorporated into my personality. I give them huge credit for how I am. So what was my last major decision? Hmm…

Well, growing up with depression and anxiety issues really impacted my choices of career choice. I’ve had anxiety since I was born and I’ve struggled with depression since my teens. I didn’t understand my feelings when I was in my adolescence and I didn’t feel accepted or understood in my family or with friends. So, that drove me to look to the internet for explanations. I ran across the DSM and descriptions of anxiety and depression that seemed to explain everything I was feeling, and that sparked the passion that has driven me ever since.

Over the years, I have realised how important it is to me to study and expand the knowledge (and acceptance) around these disorders but also to help the people suffering from them. That has influenced my choices around my career path, such as choosing to study Psychology in university and to work in the mental health field. I hope to continue my education and I hope to increase the knowledge and acceptance of mental health and its issues for the rest of my life. That is my true calling.