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The End of the World

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Eat, Drink, and Be Merry….”

If the world was ending tomorrow … I would honestly probably spend my last night preparing for it. I would go to my parents’ house out in the country and make sure that we were all equipped with water, food, guns, everything. I don’t think I would be able to eat much anyways as I would be too nervous/upset/scared/confused. But, if we were to make a “last supper” and it was my choice, I would definitely choose mashed potatoes, turkey, gravy, carrots, buns, and pie (drool). That is my most favourite dinner of all time.

I would make sure that my parents, my sister and her boyfriend, my boyfriend, and all the animals were out there for our last night. I would sleep (if possible) in the basement in an extremely comfy bed, and try to mentally prepare myself for the inevitable. I have spent my entire life (up until last year) sleeping in the basement, and so that is where I feel truly safe. I feel like it’s the best place to be in situations like tornadoes or whatever else.

But in all honesty, I would probably spend my last day freaking out, crying, puking, and just unable to accept the reality of what was happening. That’s just me.

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Internet Privacy (or lack of)

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Do Not Disturb.”

I actually think a lot about online privacy. I would say I am a bit paranoid about people gathering specific information about me that I don’t want to be public. I would say I am a pretty private person, but when it comes to opinions is when I’m a bit more open. That’s why I like to blog about my thoughts and opinions, but I feel very uncomfortable writing about very personal things like my name, where I live, what school I go to, what job I have, etc.

I try to keep anything I put on the internet as non-specific and general. Any identifying information I like to keep to myself. I only want to share my thoughts and feelings and opinions. I find it very difficult to keep myself private online. I feel like every app and site we go on nowadays is somehow accessing our private information without our permission. That really frustrates me and I try my hardest to keep my information out of these people’s (or computer’s) hands. Anything/anyone that takes my information without my explicit permission, I do not trust.

The internet is so wonderful in allowing us access to information and the ability to spread ideas, but it definitely has its downfalls and lack of privacy is definitely a big downfall of the internet.

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The Struggle of OCD

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “A Mystery Wrapped in an Enigma.”

Something most people probably don’t know about me is … that I struggle every day with OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder). I find it terrifying to have to lock up my home on my own and leave as I am constantly convinced that I didn’t lock the door properly or shut it properly (and thus, my cat will be harmed or my boyfriend’s stuff stolen). I have massive anxiety when taking pills (which I have to every day) because I am convinced that I somehow dropped some (and thus, my cat will eat them and die). I have a difficult time driving alone; I am always sure that something toxic is on my hands and will harm me, my cat, or someone else; on and on.

I am fairly open about my struggle with OCD, but I do not talk about the specifics. Very, very few people know how much I compulsively check seemingly insignificant things, obsess over “what if” possibilities, and convince myself that I have done or will do something terrible by accident. When I talk about it, I feel insane, crazy, messed-up, broken…

It’s so difficult for other people to understand when they have never experienced it. They constantly ask “why can’t you just ignore it?” or say “but it’s not true, so why stress about it?”. All I can say is, it’s real to me and my mind does not let me ignore it. Every single thing I do is a stressor, and yet I cannot allow my anxiety to coop me up in my house and isolate myself. I did that for a few months and it only made everything so much worse.

We must fight our anxiety every day and force ourselves to live. It’s the only way.