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The Balance of Life

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “On the Edge.”

I try to live with as much balance in my life as possible, but I do find it very difficult. I have noticed that times when I am non-stop – working, studying, learning, socialising, etc – I end up burning out and having a meltdown.

So, in order to keep myself on a calm and collected level, I sleep a lot and try to incorporate as much yoga into my schedule as possible. Also, I like to journal as much as possible and reflect back on my day and my life in general. Having time for deep meaningful thought really refreshes me both physically and emotionally. And, as an introvert, having time to myself where I can relax and be alone is extremely important. If I end up spending too much time in social situations (even ones I enjoy with friends or family) I become extremely exhausted and worn out.

I really have been struggling lately with trying to find the right balance in my life – so that I don’t end up overworking myself and burning out or isolating myself in a corner and becoming depressed. It really is a fine line between the two for me and I need to constantly be on top of myself to make sure I stay in the okay zone. I do know it will be a lifetime struggle and hopefully one day things will make more sense for me.

Life is constantly changing and so are we humans.

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We All Want A Better World

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Dear Leader.”

Looking through the responses to this prompt confirms my expectations – every person wants something different, and our government will never be able to satisfy everyone.

What do I want from my government? World peace, peace within communities, food for everyone, shelter for everyone, jobs for everyone, available and quality mental and physical health services, no more war or nuclear bombs, no more poisoning our food and water, cheaper and available food, … the list can go on and on.

I want a perfect world but it is not achievable. And, who knows, maybe a perfect world wouldn’t be so perfect either. Maybe we need the balance – positives and negatives.

Every one of us is going to champion a cause that is important to ourselves. Some people may be focused on better healthcare, some on better roads, some on higher wages, etc. My cause would have to be mental health. I find the mental health system in my area to be pretty ineffective, and I definitely think that it is something valid that needs to be worked on and improved in order to help our people. But that’s my priority.

And I guess that’s one thing that a lot of us feel – I don’t feel like my government listens to me or cares at all.

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Religion vs Spirituality

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “180 Degrees.”

When I read this prompt, I immediately thought of religion. I have a feeling that a lot of people have done 180s when it comes to religion or spirituality. I think it’s a very complex topic that takes a lot of soul-searching and thought, and I think very few people ever come to a definite answer of where they stand.

My family has never been a “religious” family. I have never gone to church, we never prayed, etc, but my parents did teach us about a “God”, something up there that was all-powerful. So, I kind of grew up not really questioning it but just assuming there was something up there.

In my teen years, I learned about Christianity and I think that I needed it at that point in my life. I was struggling with anxiety and depression, and having a loving, perfect being to always talk to and take comfort from was really appealing to me. I began to consider myself a Christian and went to Christian events, etc.

Once I hit nineteen or so, I fell away from the Christianity bubble. I was learning more and more about Christian history plus problems that are going on today with all forms of religion.

Now, I would definitely say that I am a spiritual person but not a religious person. I feel that religion is a man-made concept that is full of rules and laws that exclude certain types of people. I definitely believe that there is a spiritual force that governs our lives, that we are all connected through this force, and that there must be a higher power. But that is all. I would never say I am a Christian or any other religion. I don’t feel I need to have the answer right now – about knowing exactly what or who is up there or what will happen after death. And I think that is okay.

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Everything Happens For A Reason

In response to The Daily Post’s writing prompt: “Nightmares.”

I guess my nightmares could be described as kind of boring and simple. The last uncomfortable dream that I had was maybe a couple of weeks ago and involved me trying to re-connect with a lost friend of mine and having it fail massively. I have this dream every few weeks, since I lost the friendship about a year ago. Another dream that I have repeatedly over the past year that is sometimes mixed with this friend dream involves Home Depot, where I worked for a year and a half.

The friend dream usually goes along the lines of us running into each other unexpectedly, me getting ignored by her, me attempting to talk to her and understand why she stopped talking to me and having that fail, etc. I hate how clingy and desperate admitting this makes me seem, but I do truly feel like I’m not the crazy one here… Who hangs out with someone every day and says they’re best friends and then one day just stops responding to messages/phone calls/texts, everything?

The Home Depot dream, I have had literally over a dozen times in the past year, and usually involves me going back to work there casually as they really needed help, the shift going extremely badly, and then me walking out and realising I will never go back.

What do I think these dreams mean? I think they show how I put all of myself into everything that I do, and when it’s not returned to me or it fails somehow, I find it very difficult to let go. I do not allow many people into my life or my mind, I do not have many friends, and I have not had many jobs. I am learning that nothing lasts forever, that people, jobs, situations, etc, will come in and out of my life forever and instead of clinging to the memories of what was, I need to focus on what they all brought me, acknowledge their gifts, and then move on.